Grappling with the Gray #94: Have my cake and eat it, too?

At what cost can we expect others to take responsibility for our own well being?

That's the question that the ethics panel takes up when Giovanni Gallo, Nick Gallo, and Diane Helbig join me to Grapple with the Gray.

Here is our topic:

A woman posted online how she likes to bake more than she likes to eat. Although she typically shares her culinary creations with friends and family, on one occasion she asked and received permission to leave her leftovers in the common area of her apartment building with a note that anyone who wanted could help themselves.

Over time, this developed into an informal tradition. Occasionally, other tenants put out their treats as well.

And then it stopped. One day a neighbor knocked on the door and accused the baker of poisoning her son after she had to take the boy to the emergency room for an allergy attack because he ate a peanut butter brownie.

The baker agreed to help pay for the hospital trip and stopped putting out her baked goods. When one neighbor asked why she had stopped, the baker recounted the story without mentioning the name of the mother who had complained.

Subsequently , the mother returned. It seemed that the neighbors were upset with the mother and blamed her for stopping the availability of baked goods. She accused the baker of intentionally defaming her and said she would lodge a complaint with the landlord.

Was the baker wrong for putting out the baked goods in the first place, or for sharing the story with a neighbor who was able to figure out which other party was involved? In general, how far does a community have to go to accommodate individual needs rather than expecting individuals to assume a higher level of responsibility for themselves and their families?

Meet this week’s panelists:

Diane Helbig is Chief Improvement Catalyzer at Helbig Enterprises, providing guidance and training to business owners and leaders around the world.

Giovanni Gallo is an ethics enthusiast, compliance culturist, CTO and Co-CEO at Ethico, empowering leaders who care to manage risk, improve communication, reinforce culture, and establish ethical work environments.

Nick Gallo, aka the Ethics Evangelist and Captain Culture, is creator and host of The Ethics Experts podcast. He is Chief Servant and Co-CEO of Ethico, as well as brother of Giovanni Gallo.